20 to 25 years of age

So, where I left off. I got sentenced to 8 years of TDC. Scared out of my mind but knowing I needed to do what I had to in order to get through this, I did my time. It wasn’t easy I was alone and no family or friends by my side. The one good thing that came from this was I was finally sober and feeling good about myself. They put me in laundry and that made the time go by faster. Not long after being in, I saw parole but nothing good came of it. They actually lost my file and I had to wait for another year before seeing them again. I had met many very interesting people and some down ass guards as well. Seeing the parole again I finally was granted parole but to a place called Safe-P. So here I went Off to another place for 9 more months. One of the worst places I have ever been to. A place to hold you accountable but also snitch on everyone you come across. One of the ugliest places to be, So I again worked in the kitchen for all three shifts so I didn’t have to deal with all the groups and snitches there were. The thing is after that you had to go 3 months after to a halfway house to learn how to get back into society and live a productive life. when it was my time to go to the halfway house, they sent me to Austin. What a bad decision on them. I didn’t look for a job or do anything productive there because I was just going to be leaving there in 3 months. So, I went to the river and goofed off with the friends I made. I got in trouble a lot for doing so and almost got kicked out till one day they came and arrested the director of the place for embezzlement. Ha, the bitch was a mean lady Miss English I can remember like it was yesterday. But after all the loss and the long nights of staying awake to make sure I would be alive the next day I was finally getting to go home. In all the time of county and TDCJ, 8 years of my life was gone to never get back, but I was alive and clean of heroin. I was home to start my new life and a better one at that. It was a long prosses and scary ordeal but had to be done. If it wasn’t for prison, I would not be here today to tell my story. I would have been dead within months or not sooner from the heroin or the man and his family I was with. that is the end of the years here so till tomorrow or tonight I will tell more. So as always, I’m leaving you with my thoughts on paper. I’m and only destined to be the woman I am meant to be. BeachBum SoulSurfer.

17 to 20 years of age…

Skip down a few months and I was dealing drugs and doing them as well. I met a man and decided I didn’t need anything else. I was so naïve he ran my life for me. Whatever he said I did. Next thing you knew I was a full-blown heroin addict. I followed in his lead and getting into situations that I wish I never wish I would have been in. I saw things that no person should see in their lifetime. I was in a black abius, a downward spiral to hell itself. I went from a full healthy beautiful girl to a withered away bag of a bone heroin addict in a one-year span. I had no remorse for the things I did and the things I said to my family and friends. I was lost, I didn’t even recognize myself. By then I was breaking into houses and robbing people in order to make him happy and keep my addiction going. I do not blame my life on him or his family he was right there with me. His parents introduced heroin to both of us because I had a steady income and they needed drugs. But I alone kept using the drugs had taken over now and I didn’t see any other way to live. I had got pregnant and thought this was the way out I was free from it all, but it wasn’t. My son was born drug-addicted and I was heading down the fast track to death. I had been in and out of jail twice now and the third time the charm. I wasn’t getting out of this one. My boyfriend had turned state evidence over on me so his mom and he wouldn’t go to jail. They were hunting for me and they found me. I spent 2 years in the county going to trial and in the end, I got 13 felony accounts of Aggravated Burglary of Habitation. I was breaking down doors robbing people while asleep or at gunpoint. The judge sentenced me to 8 years for each account but ran then all concurrent. I was facing 75 years agg. and by God’s grace I got 8 years. That is the end of heroin addiction. Stay tuned to the next chapter. It will be soon to come. It is a rocky road and oh so much to remember. So please stick with me on this journey and I promise it comes out in the end. Till next time and as always “I’m destined to be the only woman I’m meant to be.” BeachBum SoulSurfer.

white socks on white paper

10 to 16 years of Age

It all started it crumble when I was forced to move away from my safe haven, the Corpus Christi Beach. I was 10 years old at the time and my mom and dad just recently divorced so were pretty shaken from that still. My mom got a new job and wanted us, girls, to be closer to our dad. It was hard I was daddy’s little girl but I was losing a part of me leaving my home. The only place to this day felt like home to me. We moved during the summer of 1990 and got settled in just in time to start a new school year at this place I didn’t want to be at. No friends nothing at all familiar. So, I became the quiet kid at school and became a hermit. As time went by, I grew to open up and make friends. Actually, I became somewhat ok with the situation. But still in the back of my mind was me trying to figure out how to get back to the beach. 2 years into living here we moved again just to the other side of town but lost all my friends again and I was miserable once more. Time went by I didn’t really care at that point anymore so I became a follower and just wanted people to like the new kid again. But becoming a teenager with all new surroundings I fell into the wrong crowd. We started smoking weed and smoking cigarettes. Drinking liquor and beer not caring one bit. As time went on, I was kicked out of school for hitting a teacher and breaking her nose because she told me I was worthless and I would never amount to anything in life. I was not worth teaching she said. The reason being I was reading my book upside down and backward because of my Dyslexia and that was the only way I knew how to read. The outcome of all that she got fires and I got kicked out of all Northside ISD. I was out of school for about a year until went back to this other school BSA. Now that place was bad. Smoked weed with teachers and principals and sold dope to the kids. I had given up on trying to learn anything. After the incident at the other school, I let what she said to me go to the heart and let it define who I would become in life. So, I am stopping for now the next chapter coming soon. The 17 to 20 Years of Age next. Thank you all for taking the time and read my life. Be back tomorrow. As I say I’m only destined to be the woman I am meant to be. Till next time. sleep well. BeachBum SoulSurfer

Beautifully Chaotic

In the Beginning….

I was born and raised in Corpus Christi, TX. I spent the first 10 years of my life there then was forced to move to San Antonio, TX. Where I still reside. I grew up a bit sheltered and innocent in the world. That all changed when I was forced to move and leave my life there in Corpus behind. I didn’t like it here and the beach was calling my name. So, intel that is where I thought of the name, I go by BeachBum SoulSurfer. The first part of BeachBum started back then I was at the beach every day and on weekends camped there. It was my solitude, my calm before the storm. I was at peace when I was there. The waves, salty air, and the sand. It was home to me. It is my safe haven from all the pain and suffering I have done to myself in this life I live. So then on to the second part SoulSurfer, I see it as my soul is there back at that beach surfing the waves. Waiting for the day that my body returns to reunite with my soul to become one again. To live the life, I should have many years ago. Fast-forward 30 years from me leaving my soul behind and I am sitting here telling all my life stories for all to read. I write about who I am and what I have become. I tell about the struggles I have been through and the hell I have lived in. I do this to let the readers out there know that if you are going through a struggle or the fires from hell you are not alone. I have been through mine and I’m here to tell you how I got through it and came out on the other side alive. I know my struggles are not your struggles and some things I did might not help you but say I’m here and if you need an ear to listen, I have an ear that hears pretty well. This is not my only Blog site and I have put my FaceBook page here so you can find me there as well My other website is BeachBumSoulSurfer.com feel free to take a glimpse at it or just know all that on that site will be one form or another on this one. They will be different I am not coping and pasting anything. It will all be from my heart. I may tell more here than there I’m not sure. I am honored to be here and tell my story to all so let me go from here and start my next chapter in my book. As I have come to say lately” I am destined to be the only woman I am meant to be.” The One and Only BeachBum SouSurfer