Chaos within my soul

My soul says it will be ok, and my heart says I’m done I can’t hurt any longer. I wish I could understand it all. I may never get to but I want the chance to try. My thoughts and feelings are all tangled in a web I did not weave. I still look for him in everything I do. I stepped back from all communication with him. I didn’t want him feeling that he had to feel the same about me as I did with him. I wanted him to come to a conclusion that he could be him and tell me he couldn’t do it. that it wasn’t our time or that it may never be our time. Give our friendship a chance to flourish. He will always have a spot in my heart because the bond we did have and the friendship we once had that will always be there. To you out there I hope you are well and doing good. and I hope to one day hear from you. I can always say I’m mad but I’m not. I worry about you more that anything. I just hope you are ok. and with that I get little here and there’s that you are still around and that makes me feel good that your around but also makes me think of why not talk with me and tell me what’s going on. Just a hi I’m ok. But like I said I’m not trying to push you into anything you cant do at this moment. Just know I miss you and love ya bunches. You captured my soul and for once it was ok that it was not at the beach. I am here whenever you feel you can talk. Till the next time. I am destined to be the only woman I am meant to be and that is BeachBum SoulSurfer….

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