As I lay my head down at nights my mind runs a million miles an hour. Thoughts of my past come to visit and make me ask the “what if’s.” What if I didn’t do that and what if I did do that. I’m usually in the state of turmoil with myself because I have the most amazing son and great friends but if I did just one thing different would my life be so different or would it still be the same. Those questions come to me only when I am in a difficult time in my life. I think I could of had an amazing life with no hardships but I have that amazing life right now. I don’t need to go back and change anything. The now is where you start. You are the one that can determine if you are happy in the life you are leading and if you are not happy you correct the now and it with change the future. But in the end of all the chaos in my head it comes back to the thinking of our lives have already been pre-designed and laid out for us no matter what turn we make. So then why do I stay awake at night thinking of these things that I can not change in the past. It being 4:30 A.M. I am now ready to lay my head down and fall fast to sleep. I hope lol. I Till I can’t sleep again Sweet dreams to all.  Passing out ready to dream. I am only destined to be the woman I was meant to be. BeachBum Soulsurfer

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