Chaos in my Head

Look at me Now. 

I have come a far way from the lost soul I was just a month ago. On to my second website and my first becoming a store front. I am very proud of how far I have come. 

Crawling to my Quiet Place

It has been one thing after another today. I woke to take me son to school and came back home to start my day working on all my site and get the house in order but my body said no I wasn’t. I have been working 14 to 18 hours a day on making my web page and getting my business up and going I haven’t been taking care of me. So my body did it for me. I am sick and have slept all day long to get up only to go get my son from school and get fast food for dinner because I had nothing prepared for it. I feel like I could sleep for a week.

I have got a bit of the stuff I wanted done today done but nothing where I wanted to be. I will start in the morning but I was thinking of sleeping in lol. These are the days I would have in the past have already given up and quit on. I would have said it was too much and make any excuses to give to make it seem legit. Not this time, I’m going to keep going and follow through with it. I guess it is one of those things that growth had beat my past. Am I afraid all my work or writing is for nothing? Yes, but I can not let my fears control me anymore.

I still sit here and think over and over again of what I really want to focus on in my Blog site but the only thing I can write about is my from my heart are my struggles I have gone through and survived. It is almost my therapy and my recipes I have but not sure how to incorporate them into all of this. I have a lot going through my head and it is Chaos up there right now.

Till I sort it all out and put it on paper I feel I am going to get nowhere with all of this, My goal for this weekend is to set and write it all out on actual paper to be able to physically arrange it how I see fit to me. I am an organizer my OCD makes sure of that, and right now my OCD is yelling at me telling me to let it take over and fix it. Daily I fight that, but I don’t think anything has to be fixed just a little organized. I am very big on having everything in its place and cleaning all day long. But to me it’s not a chore it’s fun for me and I know to some that is strange but hey my house is always spotless and right now it is not and I am freaking out over that as well. What is strange my mom says I was never like this as a kid all the way up till I got my own place lol.

So I am all up for ideas of what I should focus on in these blogs I do or just keep being me and ramble about my life and hope that it helps others like me or just plain entertaining to some and see what come next. Till next time I will imagine that I am building castles on the beach.

As always it is a beautiful time to be at the beach

Yours truly, BeachBum SoulSurfer

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